Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
