Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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