I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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