Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
