Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You ate ashes out of my bong
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
