While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Someone came in the potted fern
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Randomize
