You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
