just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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