Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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