i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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