Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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