if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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