Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
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