hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
