is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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