some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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