what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
