Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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