So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
