the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
