The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
