The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
