You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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