I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
