She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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