I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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