I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
