I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
