Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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