I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
