It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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