so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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