idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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