Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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