You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
