yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
im six kinds of drunk right now
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
