it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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