i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
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I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
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Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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