John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
