i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
