Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
