So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I haven't been this sober since birth.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
