are you still at the devil's house?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
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So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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