Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
