brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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