Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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