don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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