That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
This is my gift to your gina
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
