Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
this boner is exhausting
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
