Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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