oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
