dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
