I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
