porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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