she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize