my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
