He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize