His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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