You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
