Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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