why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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