i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
